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Biomed Me Forums » Recent Posts http://biomedme.com/forum/ Biomed Me Forums » Recent Posts en Fri, 10 Sep 2010 02:25:57 +0000 WearmWerminee on "MLA citation... plz facilitate" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=144#post-163 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 02:49:17 +0000 WearmWerminee 163@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Hello guys, I urgently need message on MLA format... I can't finish my essay. Does anyone know? Cheer help... hzorot on "For people who lookup for Football Picks" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=143#post-162 Sun, 05 Sep 2010 15:39:55 +0000 hzorot 162@http://biomedme.com/forum/ at First NFL Picks we have chosen To provide our visitors the in truth best. in fact, we allow sacrificed many of short term money into the belief which bringing buyers handicappers even better than our previous team will bring more lengthy term buyers. Don't believe us? Test out the everyday no cost [url=http://www.1stnflpicks.com]Football Picks[/url] use email and also see as Yourself. 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The biggest misinterpret players make is how to never Follow the bankroll management strategies as to the experts as well as To provide up after the 1st sign as for a negative week or two. it may be cliche, but this is a marathon and not a sprint. if you remain the path as for person that has proven To rake over time, time and also time again, you went be assured of success JennyReed on "Lap Band Mexico" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=134#post-153 Fri, 20 Aug 2010 15:09:47 +0000 JennyReed 153@http://biomedme.com/forum/ WorldMed Assist who assist patients with finding affordable, high quality care abroad. WorldMed Assist only partners with hospitals after multi-day, on-site screening. Many of the top surgeons in their partner network were trained in the U.S., and most hospitals have affiliations with renowned US medical centers such as Johns Hopkins and Harvard Medical. 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Why are bullet casings made of brass? bio.med on "Drager fabuis & evita family & new port ventilator & bennit" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=125#post-144 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:44:32 +0000 bio.med 144@http://biomedme.com/forum/ dear all I have some spare parts fabuis family & evita family & newport 360 & bennit if any one need help contact me <a href="mailto:bio.med77@hotmail.com">bio.med77@hotmail.com</a> Wassim MMD on "Provider of the best Biomedical Test instruments" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=102#post-121 Fri, 25 Jun 2010 23:46:13 +0000 Wassim MMD 121@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Datrend Systems Elton Fernandes on "Training courses on Biomedical Equipment" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=80#post-99 Tue, 11 May 2010 11:55:30 +0000 Elton Fernandes 99@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Hi, I am based in KSA (Riyadh) and was wondering if anyone is providing training courses on Biomedical Equipment. I ofcourse would be willing to pay for such courses. I look forward to getting a reply to this. Thanks and regards, Elton Fernandes Baytcom on "Bayt.com Classifieds for Middle East" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=62#post-81 Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:01:01 +0000 Baytcom 81@http://biomedme.com/forum/ To sell/buy/rent premium property /furniture and more in the Middle East, no better place than Bayt Classifieds. Hundreds of top properties listed and over 1.7 million site visitors a month from the MENA region and beyond: <a href="http://classifieds.bayt.com" rel="nofollow">http://classifieds.bayt.com</a> AshleyW on "New here" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=56#post-75 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:32:32 +0000 AshleyW 75@http://biomedme.com/forum/ New here, I'm from KANADA! and I think I found a new spot to hangout So, anyone here concerned about the Canadian Olymipic Games? quiplerpeve on "Mecze na zywo would you like to confer with sport matches live in tv ?" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=53#post-72 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:28:26 +0000 quiplerpeve 72@http://biomedme.com/forum/ In all likelihood myriad of You often would like to watch a room tv display on screen of Your pc. I was vexing to put one's finger on a good website that allows it . Can You advocate me something ? Thanks. [url=http://isport24.com/pl/]mecze na zywo[/url] RobertGrimaldi on "The easiest way to get offshore oil rig job" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=52#post-71 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 14:28:07 +0000 RobertGrimaldi 71@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Those who dream about offshore jobs often find it hard to search and find out one easily. If you have a prior experience in rigs you won’t find it much difficult to get a job. admin on "Bill Gates to school kids" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=51#post-70 Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:44:47 +0000 admin 70@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. admin on "Hey I'm new" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=50#post-69 Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:44:20 +0000 admin 69@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Welcome to the forum. Jamal admin on "How can I get information about medical supply?" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=47#post-68 Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:43:40 +0000 admin 68@http://biomedme.com/forum/ It depends what sector are you looking for. We are also planning to make a B@B site for medical suppliers. dayclammartot on "Hey I'm new" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=50#post-67 Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:02:49 +0000 dayclammartot 67@http://biomedme.com/forum/ What's up everyone, I'm new to the forum and just wanted to say hey. Hopefully I posted this in the right section! admin on "How the stock market works (Must Read)" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=49#post-66 Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:01:08 +0000 admin 66@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each." The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works. admin on "Sounds logical" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=48#post-65 Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:12:30 +0000 admin 65@http://biomedme.com/forum/ The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. medicalsupply11 on "How can I get information about medical supply?" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=47#post-64 Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:08:35 +0000 medicalsupply11 64@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Hey, I want online information about medical supply, give me suggestion….. Thanks in advance admin on "Two Minutes leadership and management courses" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=46#post-63 Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:50:14 +0000 admin 63@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Boss is right…! A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first, me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next, Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say ……………………………………………………………………………….. Price u pay 4 doing nothing…? An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up ! ……………………………………………………………… Don’t be a Turkey…. A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: BullS*** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there ! ……………………………………………………………… Contrary to popular wisdom…. A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate... Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Moral of the story: (1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy (2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend (3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep your mouth shut! admin on "Joke : We love the French … really…" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=45#post-62 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:24:14 +0000 admin 62@http://biomedme.com/forum/ An American tourist in London found himself needing to pee something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public conveniences anywhere, so he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up. "’Ello, ‘ello ’ello, what you think you’re doing?" the officer asked. "I'm sorry," the American replied, “but I’ve really gotta go." "You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me." The police officer led him round a couple of corners to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here you go," said the policeman, "pee away." The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started urinating on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this what they call British courtesy?" "No," replied the policeman. "This is what they call the French Embassy." admin on "Joke : Blonde… again…" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=44#post-61 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:23:43 +0000 admin 61@http://biomedme.com/forum/ A blonde goes into the Chemist's and asks for a rectal deodorant. "There's no such thing," answered the Chemist. "Yes there is," said the blonde. "I can assure you there isn't such a thing as a rectal deodorant," said the Chemist. "Yes there is," said the blonde, "I'll prove it!" and she walked out of the shop. 10 minutes later she returned and handed the Chemist a standard stick deodorant. "Look at that," she insisted, pointing to the instructions. The Chemist read the instructions which stated: (Wait for it!) "To use, push up bottom". admin on "Joke : catch my eye." http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=43#post-60 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:22:56 +0000 admin 60@http://biomedme.com/forum/ A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place, “that must have been quite upsetting. Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything had been SO incredible!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? " "No," she replies. . . . . . . " Wait for it....... It's coming....... The suspense is killing you, isn't it? She says: .................You just happened to catch my eye. " admin on "Joke : Quiz …" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=42#post-59 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:20:43 +0000 admin 59@http://biomedme.com/forum/ (Passing requires 4 correct answers) 1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 2) Which country makes Panama hats? 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7) What was King George VI's first name? 8) What color is a purple finch? 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? 10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass. Check your answers below. ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years 2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador 3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs 7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert 8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand 10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course) admin on "Clever American attorneys – Q.E.D." http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=41#post-58 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:19:09 +0000 admin 58@http://biomedme.com/forum/ These are things people actually said in USA courts, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. ATTORNEY - Are you sexually active? WITNESS - No, I just lie there. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS - A Gucci sweater and Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS - Yes. ATTORNEY - And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS - I forget. ATTORNEY - You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS - He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY - And why did that upset you? WITNESS - My name is Susan! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS - We both do. ATTORNEY - Voodoo? WITNESS - We do. ATTORNEY - You do? WITNESS - Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS - Did you actually pass the bar exam? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS - Uh, he's twenty-one. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS - Are you sh#ttin' me? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS - Yes. ATTORNEY - And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS - Uh.... I was gettin' laid! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - She had three children, right? WITNESS - Yes. ATTORNEY - How many were boys? WITNESS - None. ATTORNEY - Were there any girls? WITNESS - Are you sh#ttin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS - By death. ATTORNEY - And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS - Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Can you describe the individual? WITNESS - He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY - Was this a male or a female? WITNESS - Guess. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS - No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS - All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS - Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS - The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M. ATTORNEY - And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS - No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS - Huh...are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY - Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS - No. ATTORNEY - Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS - No. ATTORNEY - Did you check for breathing? WITNESS - No. ATTORNEY - So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS - No. ATTORNEY - How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS - Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY - I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS - Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law ____________________________________ admin on "Joke : Blonde.. again" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=40#post-57 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:18:24 +0000 admin 57@http://biomedme.com/forum/ A Brunette goes to the doctor. "Doctor", she says, "I'm really worried because I hurt all over". "Show me", says the Doctor. "Well", says the woman, "If I touch my nose it hurts, if I touch my knee like this it hurts, and if I touch my breasts it hurts - everywhere hurts!" "Ah", says the Doctor, "you're actually a Blonde aren't you?" "Well, yes", says the woman, "I'm a natural Blonde. How can you tell?" "Because you've broken your finger", replied the Doctor. admin on "Joke : Arthritis" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=39#post-56 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:16:50 +0000 admin 56@http://biomedme.com/forum/ A drunk man, who smelled of booze, sat down on an underground train next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick and a half empty bottle of whisky was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say Father, what causes arthritis?” The priest, looking at the man’s obvious state, replied, “My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow men, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.” The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I'll be damned!” then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?” The drunk answered, “I don't have it, Father, but I’ve just read here that the Pope does!” admin on "Joke : blondes" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=38#post-55 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:14:50 +0000 admin 55@http://biomedme.com/forum/ A Blonde was walking along a river bank when she spotted another Blonde on the other bank. She called across to her, "How do I get to the other side?" The other Blonde gazed up and down the river then replied, "You ARE on the other side" admin on "Joke : Generic names and the future" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=37#post-54 Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:13:25 +0000 admin 54@http://biomedme.com/forum/ In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Panadol has the generic name of Paracetamol. Similarly, Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Nurofen is also called Ibuprofen. The DoH has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. As a sort-of follow on - there is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections but absolutely no idea what to do with them! amar on "water, worms and whisky" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=36#post-53 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:18:01 +0000 amar 53@http://biomedme.com/forum/ A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whisky and two worms. "Now, class, observe the worms closely," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whisky. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked. Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whisky and you won't get worms!” amar on "Bill Gates and General motors" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=35#post-52 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:03:06 +0000 amar 52@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Bill Gates vs General Motors At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.” In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: ”If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1) For no reason whatsoever, your car will crash........twice a day. 2) Every time they repaint the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3) Occasionally, your car would die on the road for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut down the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6) The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation” warning light. 7) The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying. 8) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9) Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10) You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off. amar on "Before computers" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=34#post-51 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:59:49 +0000 amar 51@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Before Computers… Memory was something you lost with age, An application was for employment, A program was a TV show, A cursor used profanity, A keyboard was a piano, A web was a spider's home, A virus was the flu, A CD was a bank account, A hard drive was a long trip on the road, A mouse pad was where a mouse lived, And if you had a 3 inch floppy............you just hoped nobody ever found out! amar on "alleged letter written by John Cleese addressed to the people of the U.S.A." http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=33#post-50 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:57:20 +0000 amar 50@http://biomedme.com/forum/ To the citizens of the United States of America, In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA, and thus to adequately govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she doesn’t fancy) as from Monday next. Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. 2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', ‘harbour’, 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "-ize" will be replaced by the suffix "-ise." 3. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' - you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with the correct pronunciation. 4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is unacceptable and is an inefficient form of communication. 5. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know this on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize." 6. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task number 1 (see above). 7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called "Come-Uppance Day." 8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. 9. Following on from 8) above, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. 11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 12. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") at roughly $6 per US gallon. Get used to it. 13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar. 14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers. 15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Excretions," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. 16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 17. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind of football - you call it "soccer". Those of you brave enough will, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body Armour like a bunch of nancies). 18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. 19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad for years. 20. An internal revenue agent (what is correctly called a ‘tax collector’) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776. Thank you for your co-operation. John Cleese amar on "US size machine screws" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-49 Sat, 19 Sep 2009 02:12:21 +0000 amar 49@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Hi Robert try : <a href="http://www.electronichardware.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.electronichardware.com</a> they seem to have all kinds of spare parts. good luck and let us know if you are successful peterpan on "Heamoglobin Monitor" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=32#post-48 Sat, 19 Sep 2009 02:11:07 +0000 peterpan 48@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Thanks for the info on Heamoglobin monitor from US! what happens when I run out of testing strips?Will I be able to buy replacement test strips in UAE and what are the costs? has anybody used this monitor and how reliable is it? I'm also looking for an INR testing monitor for home use any suggestions? admin on "Feedback" http://biomedme.com/forum/topic.php?id=31#post-47 Sat, 19 Sep 2009 02:02:10 +0000 admin 47@http://biomedme.com/forum/ Thank you Amar. We are doing our best. Please feel free to post questions, suggestions and ideas.